Making Space

It's scary. It's exhilarating. And it's everything I've needed.

My wrist buzzes for the 32nd time and it’s only 10am. Emails. Text messages. Comments. Memes. Likes. Hot new deals for seeds and swimsuits.

The night I took my Apple watch off and tossed it in the bottom drawer of my dresser, I felt my shoulders relax.

This was one small step in the mountain of a journey I embarked on this year. And for the first time, in a long time, I actually have the time to sit down and reflect on it.

To be completely honest, it’s been nerve wracking. I’ve had to rely on my slow, deep belly breathing as I let go of things I’ve been building for years. There have been times where I felt unsure and unsteady.

But I’ve stayed laser focused on the goal: Creating Space. And goodness the freedom that’s come with it so far has felt unmatched… exhilarating, to say the least.

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At the start of 2025 I was scraping the ground. It was a mix of winter blues, months of solo parenting two high energy dudes, balancing a challenging new job with my passion and responsibility to my art practice, among health and house stuff.
Like whoa. However, the worst of it was this gnawing feeling of time slipping through my fingers and being too distracted to notice.

In January, for the new year, I chose the word depth. I ached for it. Depth in my art and depth in my life. I sat down with a notebook and asked myself, “How do I get there?” I wrote and wrote and wrote and what kept coming up in different ways was:

I crave less busyness. I want my time back from my phone. I need more space.

When I type that, I can actually feel it well in my chest.
More time, more space, through less.

I was doing too much and I do think sometimes you have to take a step back in order to move forward. Intuitively, I knew that was my only path.

Here’s how the journey has looked so far.

Since January 1st:

• I deleted my Facebook. I didn’t log out or take a break (I’ve tried that). I deleted it as in completely gone forever. This was a huge step for me. In my experience, FB was no longer a fun place to share with family and friends. One day I realized all I was seeing was a whole lot of garbage and I was mindlessly spending way too much time there. Drama. Click bait. Reels that suck you in. 20 minutes here, 40 minutes there. This alone felt like a big stance and a step in the right direction.

• I deleted my Peloton/Strava apps. For over 4 years I’ve had a weekly streak of workouts and I didn’t do a single thing without logging it to the app. I still work out almost every morning I just do so intuitively. Since I’m simply moving for my health and not training as an athlete, it’s one less thing to think about and I’ve found it quite freeing.

• March was the final month for the Wilder Collage membership — this was by far the hardest chapter to close. I started this group 3 years ago and for the most part it brought me (and others) connection and joy.
  With the help of the members this will be more of a shift than an end but it will free up a large amount of time. For both of those things, I’m entirely grateful.

• As I mentioned before, I took my Apple Watch off and tossed it into the bottom drawer of my dresser. I’ve let go of tracking every single move I make and getting an alert the second anyone reaches out to me. No continuous distractions = more peaceful days. I’m excited to add an old school watch to my thrifting wish list.

• I unfollowed hundreds of accounts on Instagram — mostly really big accounts or celebrities. I’m not quite ready to leave there… yet… but it feels good to clean, clear and organize. I also removed over a dozen apps from my phone. Do I really need an app for McDonalds when I only go once or twice a year?

• I realized that I had 4 active email addresses (why do I do this to myself? lol) and so I simply removed two, one of which will save me $9 a month and the other will save me loads of spam to sort through. Clean out, clear up!

• As of last week, my husband left his corporate career of 15 years and will now be working locally — 18 minutes down the road. It’s a big change for us in a lot of ways. For him that means no more traveling across the country each week and no more 10+ hour workdays. For me that means everything I’ve been doing around here is cut in half. I have my partner back and he’s a rockstar of a partner. I’ve just started to feel the weight of this lift and I can already tell it’s immeasurable.

• I let go of all of my creative challenges. This was hard but I simply commit to too many. Here’s the thing — I love to do stuff. I love creators and their ideas. I love showing support. I love being involved. When you don’t have the capacity you don’t have the capacity. I will proceed with much more intention going forward not because I want to but because I have to.

Although I still have work to do, life already feels more spacious. I’ll be using this new found space with intention.

Things like:

• Being more present with my family. My husband is reading a book on time wealth and shares the studies with me. With our boys being 6 & 8 this is the time. The time they want us around. In a decade they’ll be young men finding their own way in the world. We’ve committed together to grasp these mundane days with everything we are. What a special, precious, fleeting time of parenthood we’re in.

• F’in chilling for 2 seconds. It’s okay to have moments of time where nothing is pressing. What a gift these moments are. Here’s to not filling them but just enjoying them.

• Caring for our beautiful (work in progress) homestead. We have a little bit of land and a lotta bit of work but I love learning all the house things. And there’s been a lot to learn so far! For the first time in my entire life I’m liking the kitchen things, hosting things, projecty stuff. I also want to get chickens. Someone talk me out of it! Lol

• My art. I am an artist and I’m bursting with ideas. No more distractions. It’s time to do the work.

On that note, I’m signing off. I’ve got to get my ass in my chair, that is step one after all.

Lastly, I’d love to know:

You feel me?

Do I seem like I’ve gone off the deep end?

How does this make you feel?

Would love to hear your thoughts!

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